This Friday is the last day my wife will be at her current job. She does not have another job - as most people define it - lined up to begin on Monday. Or on any other day next week, or ever. My wife is going to be a writer, and a housewife. We have chosen to go from being double-income-no-kids to one-income-no-kids.
In this day and age, it's unthinkable to not be employed. I don't say unemployed. She left a job of her own volition. She could get another job. But we have decided to live on one income while she builds a writing career and takes care of our home. Even stay-at-home moms get a certain amount of grief these days. Doing anything except working the ol' 9 to 5 is seen as unacceptable; a luxury even, despite what you might be doing as unpaid labour. We both recognize that not everybody has the ability and freedom to do this. But we think it'd be stupid to squander the opportunity we have, just because others think we're acting "privileged".
We are privileged. So we are going to exercise our privilege.
It was not long into our relationship when we figured out we were both exhausted creative-types, yearning to make a living from creating. It wasn't much later when I suggested the idea of a post-wedding sabbatical. "Why don't you take a year off after we get married?" I said. "It'll be fun," I said.
That's right. My wife taking time off from work was my idea.
We figured we could easily live on my income and some savings for upwards of a year - and that was without any additional money coming in. When we opted to elope last year instead of have a big, expensive wedding, Mo started a savings fund for her sabbatical from her wedding savings.
Mo has brought many things to my life as my girlfriend, fiancée, and now as my wife. One of those things in particular was a financial budget. I'm not the worst with money, but I'm not the best, and I will admit here and now that I was carrying a balance of about $5,000 on my credit card. I had some car troubles years ago that I never entirely paid off the bill for, and then I had my beloved cat (R.I.P.) in the emergency vet for a few days two years ago. It compounded quickly, and I preferred to keep it out of sight, out of mind - which of course, only added to the problem.
But we started watching debt shows together - Gail Vaz Oxlade's shows being our favourite. Eventually, I confessed my debt to Mo, and she asked if she could help me figure it out. I agreed. Fast forward to now and I am debt-free. We have worked hard with our budget, and Mo tracks everything with a spreadsheet: from iTunes purchases to car-washes.
We are not going into her time off blind. We know our monthly expenses - all of them - and we have the money to cover them - all of them - including incidentals. We have a separate emergency fund. We have accounted for our traveling this year, and gifts, and car maintenance. We have an ample budget to give us room for comforts, and the lifestyle we are accustomed to living. We will not be trying to scrape by with a drastically reduced budget the moment she leaves her desk tomorrow.
What concerns me more are the good things this change will bring to our lives. Mo will be taking on more of the housework while I am at work, as well as making most meals from scratch. Not wasting her days at a job that drains her creative energy, as well as getting adequate introvert time. Mo will also be doing what she loves: writing. We both think she'll be happier at the end of the day. Happy wife, happy life, as they say.
Part of what drains my creative energy is all the work required in the evenings after working all day at my job. Making dinner, doing dishes, making lunches, tidying the apartment. It's exhausting to do, or guilt-inducing if it goes unfinished. Our plan has me doing less of that draining work, so I get to have more creative energy at my disposal, too. Happy wives, happy lives!
We both think we're getting the better end of this deal, which I think is a good sign. We don't have kids, we don't have pets, we don't have a mortgage. The time to make big, scary changes is now. So we're taking the plunge!
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